We started B plus 3 last year when we found out we were having identical triplets.  We began the blog with so much excitement and a desire to share our “1 in a million” experience with our family and friends. The blog has remained incomplete for more reasons than we ever hope to count.

“When a baby is born, it’s a mother’s instinct to protect the baby.  When a baby dies, it’s the mother’s instinct to protect their memory.” – Unknown

When you lose a child (or in our case children), you are given the unending and extremely difficult task of navigating the life you had planned without them.  Part of your life revolves around constantly trying to figure out the best way to honor them despite their short time on earth. You hope with all of your heart that others will remember them.  When you lose a baby, a baby that most never got the chance to meet, it becomes that much more difficult.  This has been a struggle for me.  Wanting so badly to share them, but never knowing if people are comfortable with meeting them.

For some time, I have felt strongly about writing one last post.  To introduce Jack, Caden and Cameron Bryan to the people who prayed so hard for them and never got the chance to meet them. I know they would have loved to meet you.

“An angel in the Book of Life wrote down my baby’s birth.  Then whispered as he closed the book “Too beautiful for earth.”

Jack Bryan (Our Baby B)

Jack gained his angel wings on June 23, 2016.  We never held Jack in our arms but, because our boys were identical, we know that he was as beautiful as his brothers.

What I know about Jack:

He was on this earth for 20 weeks and 6 days. He was energetic and always reminding me that he was here.   He did not have enough room to grow like his brothers.  He was not meant for this world, he was meant to have wings.  He sacrificed all he had for Caden and Cameron so that they could get here to meet us.  We have no doubt that Jack welcomed his brothers and his Granddad into Heaven. I imagine he felt incomplete without them with him.  Although he was only here a short time, Jack is my hero.

Caden Randall Bryan (Our Baby A)

5 pounds 7 ounces, 17 1/2 inches

Born still on September 14, 2016 @ 12:34pm

What I know about Caden:

He spent 32 weeks and 5 days on this earth.  He was a fighter. Caden had a congenital heart defect that we hoped could be corrected some time after birth.  We wouldn’t know until he arrived if surgery would even be necessary. Caden fought hard to get Cameron here.  He kept going even when the doctors didn’t think he could.  At around 30 weeks, we knew that he and Cameron would be here soon. We were so optimistic and so proud of him for making it so far.

I knew from the beginning that Caden would always be testing  his heart and his limits. He was full of energy and always kicking Cameron and Jack in every ultrasound.  I think he was letting them know that they were in it together.  That he was doing the best he could and he wouldn’t let them down.

Cameron Thomas Bryan (Our Baby C)

4 lbs 9 oz, 17 1/2 inches

Born on September 14, 2016 @ 12:31pm

Cameron joined his brothers in Heaven on September 16, 2016 at 5:20pm as we held him in our arms.

What I know about Cameron:

He was on this earth for 33 weeks.  Throughout my entire pregnancy, Cameron always seemed to be “along for the ride”.  He was always so calm during our appointments and cooperated for the doctors during almost every one of our more than 40 ultrasounds.  I like to think that he would have been that way if he were here.  Cameron was baptized in the hospital and was a living, breathing angel in our midst for the two days he was with us.  The deacon in the NICU said that he was the closest thing to a saint that we will ever meet on earth.  I couldn’t agree more.

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“Angels watching over you”

I have been indecisive about sharing our angel stories because they are so special to us and I’m sure they may be hard for some to believe.  I figure that if they can bring even an ounce of peace to at least one other person the way they have for me, then I have to mention them.

Just a few days after her brothers went to Heaven, Brooklyn and I were sitting in our living room at home playing at her desk.  Out of the blue, she put her hand on my shoulder.  She began singing “angels watching over you” a song that she learned several months prior (the lyrics are really “angels watching over me“). She repeated it several times and has done so several times since then.  I always say to her “angels watching over Brooklyn” and she insists on correcting me. “No, Mommy.  Angels watching over YOU.” I know her brothers are telling me they are ok.

At the Gator Bowl game honoring my dad in December, we were at a brunch at the stadium prior to the game. My mom and I noticed Brooklyn looking towards the sky and waving.  She had a big smile on her face.  When we asked her who she was waving at, she got shy and didn’t answer.  A few days later, TR’s mom asked her what she was waving at and, without hesitation, she said “Cameron.  He’s an angel.  He has wings.”  A few moments later, we asked her if Cameron was by himself and she said “No.  Jack, Caden and Granddad were there.”

I believe that the boys and my dad are always sending us signs from Heaven.

I hope they never stop.

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We have found and continue to find various ways to include the boys in our daily lives. My mom and dad purchased a lime tree for us in their honor.  It was planted in the first week of October and has more than 50 limes on it already.  We can’t believe it.

Jack, Caden and Cameron Bryan left a legacy of LOVE on this earth. Love is the reason they were here in the first place and the reason that we are able to continue on without them here. Without a doubt they loved all of us.  Most importantly they loved each other and they are together.

We miss them so much.  More than I can put into words. We are forever changed because of them.

“Where there is great loss, there is even greater love.”  For all of your LOVE  – for our boys, for our Brooklyn, for my dad and for us – we are forever grateful.

Thank you for meeting them. Thank you for loving them.

We couldn’t get through this without you.

~ Melissa